Monday, March 17, 2014


(names have been changed)

A sister in the mission just forwarded her email home and the title made me laugh so I copied it.

Yeah so my heart is broken. Yesterday was an adventure for sure. S May and I are definitely the best friends of the mission but there is another set that is also best friends named S East and S Hanks. S Hanks and I have been out about the same time and S East and S May both went home today so S Hanks and I got to be companions after we dropped them off at the mission home last night. It was so funny becuase we were all four in the same boat. S May and I were standing outside talking and President comes out and says "I was wondering if you two were going to be separable!" After we gave our last hugs goodbye the door closed and both S Hanks and I freaked out haha. It was so good we had each other and knew exactly what the other was going through. So we get home at night and start planning and get a phone call from some sisters in S Hank's zone but it was actually S East and S May calling us haha. So we switched off talking to our companions until the phone ran out of battery.

Then this morning we get a phone call at 6:33, lights still off, we're both still saying our prayers, from one of the APs and guess who it was? Yep, S East and S May, on their way to the airport. We were laughing so hard. We talked to them, all 4 of us, for their whole ride to the airport. Are we all pathetic or what? Later S Hanshaw was like "That was the best 30 minutes of excersise time I've ever had." So right now S May is at home with her family. Crazy right??

My new companion is S Jackson! She is super nice :) She came out the transfer before me and was called as one of the brand new Sister Training Leaders. S May said "If you get one of the new STLs you should tell them, yeah, as STLs we go home at 8 instead of 9. We also get Sundays AND Mondays off." Hahaha I was laughing so hard.

This week we had Zone Meeting and I gave the training on repentance which I LOVED! I definitely needed it. I'm way too hard on myself, like most people and I loved being able to testify that God wants to forgive us. I was having kind of a hard day so I didn't feel fully prepared to train (actually I hadn't prepared at all). But I got up there and just said "I just want to tell all of you how much God loves you and please do more talking than me because there is someone in this room who needs to hear your testimony." And by someone I genuinely meant it because I meant me, but of course I'm way too prideful to admit I'm having a bad day.

I learned more this week about the Atonement than I have in a while. I learned that my Heavenly Father loves me so so so much and that my Savior knows where I am and how I feel. You know what is cool? I have learned to really appreciate the sacrament. As  missionary, we have to be clean and obedient to feel the spirit so we can teach with power and authority. By the time Sunday comes again, I NEED that sacrament so I can restart. I have no doubt that it works because it is a sacred ordinance of the Savior's gospel. That is what I love about being a missionary, that I am changing, truly changing! I want nothing more than to become like my Savior and I will go through whatever it takes to get there.

I miss S May a lot but I need to forget about myself. I know that S Jackson will be easy to love, what a blessing that we have to interact and love so many of God's precious children! If I can just lose myself in the work maybe my heart will stop being so broken. I would appreciate your prayers, change is never easy but it is always good! Also, can I get some more support from mi familia? I hear from 3 family members semi-consistently. Plus a couple other people the email me fairly regularly but I really love you guys and would appreciate talking to you more :)

Love you always!!!

Sister Knowlton

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